Kosher Eucharist / יוקאריסט כשר

Steven Plaut is concerned.

Steven Plaut knows that lurking out there in the fuzzy reaches of your Chevy’s radio dial is a dark and insidious threat ready to topple the temple of enlightened Western society like a shorn Israelite.

Steven Plaut recommends that you lock up your daughters and sequester your sons to save them from the sedition-fomenting rhythms of…rock and roll.

Are you a Jew who believes that the highest priority for Jews is promoting recreational drugs [and] rock and roll music…?

Steven Plaut fears the excessive swiveling of the youth’s hips.

Steven Plaut doesn’t really trust those greasers.

Steven Plaut just fails to see what’s wrong with nice music like Perry Como.

Steven Plaut suspects that, somehow, the Negroes are involved.

Of course, Jerry Lee Louis and his great balls of eternal damnation are not the only thing on Steven Plaut’s mind - Steven Plaut is, after all, one of our generation’s greater thinkers, and the looming threat of the coloreds wanting to share drinking fountains occupies only a small part of Steven Plaut’s man-sized intellect. Steven Plaut has other crusades. Steven Plaut has proof that reefers make your daughters go from “steady” to “all the way.” Steven Plaut has seen firsthand that marijuana leads to only one ignominious end: shamelessly fornicating in the mud while Simon & Garfunkel urge open revolt in the streets. Steven Plaut heard “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” in college and bought a gun.

Steven Plaut also warns to you beware of Mobius.

[Jewschool] is the baby of one Dan Sieradski, who calls himself “Mobius”,and who describes himself as an “Orthodox Anarchist”. I guess he has not gotten around to reading what Pirkei Avot and the sages had to say about anarchy. He attends Yeshivat Simchat Shlomo, a Carlebach-tradition yeshiva. Sieradski is ferociously anti-Israel and writes glowingly of such critters as Norman Finkelstein. He uses the term “progressive” like most other people use punctuation marks. He denounces those who criticize leftist anti-Semites. He claims to be an artist and a poet… The Jerusalem Post recently cited him and his pro-hashish lobbying efforts when debating whether marijuana is in fact “kitniyot hametz ” and so prohibited on Passover for Ashkenazim. He organizes hip hop “music” events in Jerusalem.

Steven Plaut knows that jungle noise doesn’t deserve to be called music without quotation marks. Steven Plaut would give Engelbert Humperdinck head for a backstage pass. Steven Plaut makes love to his wife, who no doubt checked out long ago (you can only take so much of a man who screams “KAHANE CHAI!” as he climaxes), to the strains of “Afternoon Delight.” Steven Plaut thinks “Afternoon Delight” is a kind of cocktail.

Steven Plaut’s mama got a wooden leg, with a kickstand.

He writes for some other web sites for Jewish stoned hippies, where he celebrates anti-Israel hoodlums. On the other hand, he has called for boycotting sources of hashish associated with terror groups, preferring nicer suppliers…All of which brings us to the mystery of his web nickname “Mobius”.

I have not seen it explained but I would like to venture a hypothesis. Maybe Mobius will confirm or deny it here in a comment. I suspect that “Mobius” may be shorthand for the expression “Moses is my Pusher!”

Steven Plaut is bringing back the pun. Steven Plaut should probably stick with slander.

Steven Plaut apparently thinks our greatest prophet would move ganja. Outcry is limited, though - Steven Plaut may be right. Steven Plaut thinks burning spliffs automatically transforms one into a hippie. Steven Plaut is unaware that hippies don’t smoke blunts and listen to Liquid Swords - hippies smoke out of pipes named “Gandalf” and blithely allow Widespread Panic to continue to justify its existence. Steven Plaut believes hippies are fucking stupid. Outcry is limited, though - Steven Plaut may be right.

Steven Plaut thinks a cocaine user is qualified to be a president, but a hash smoker is unqualified to express a political opinion.

Steven Plaut is entirely undistinguished as an academic, and compensates by snapping at the heels of his colleagues.

Steven Plaut’s junk is half the size of Shulamit Aloni’s.

Steven Plaut blogs on Arutz Sheva, the journalistic offspring of a terrifying three-way between Abraham Cahan, William Randolph Hearst, and Julius Streicher. Jayson Blair was sandak.

Steven Plaut said shit about Neve Shalom that wasn’t half as bad as this, and his ass got taken to court.

Steven Plaut is worthy of your scorn.