Kosher Eucharist / יוקאריסט כשר

Michael: Let’s play a game.

Michael: Fat Girl Sirens.

Michael: In which, when we are at a bar together, we pretend to be flaming long enough to attract them, at which point we viciously rip into their flesh.

Chris: I want to try this:

Chris: So we’re in a bar, and some Fat Girl befriends us.

Chris: Let’s see how long it takes her to allow you to roughly manhandle her tits, and then say that we “lied” to her when you tell her you’re straight.

Michael: Wait! I don’t want to roughly manhandle fat girl tits!

Chris: …Why not?

Michael: I have exacting tit standards!

Chris: It’s like playing with Play-Doh, but more misogynist.

Chris: You could leave a bruise!

Michael: I can’t even walk into a crowded supermarket for fear I’ll brush against a person!

Chris: Not a person, a fag hag. You can grab one and squeeze as hard as you can.

Michael: Ewwww.

Chris: Or you could just hold down drunken frat boys.

“Are you sure I’ll get in Kappa Pi for this?”

“If you leave without speaking when I’m done.”

Michael: See, I’d rather do that.

Michael: My misogyny is such that, despite my sexuality, I’d rather manhandle a man than a woman.

Chris: And you’d aid me in a brutal homosexual rape just kind of for homeboys?

Michael: Hey, doggs is doggs.

Chris: I really hope the government reads these conversations.