Kosher Eucharist / יוקאריסט כשר

Remember, remember, the Fifth of December,
When cognac, Scotch whisky and beer,
Once more flowed from the tap, ev’ry bottle uncapped,
So to Prohibition let none adhere

‘Twas on this day in 1933, 74 years ago, when the government realized that the best way to combat the malaise gripping America, with Depression and Dust Bowl ravaging the heartland, was to allow the poor and downtrodden to forget their sorrows with their first drink in 14 years guaranteed not to contain turpentine.

It was, save for (eventually) entering World War II, arguably the last good decision the federal government ever made.

So celebrate your constitutional right to cirrhosis with a frosty one, and on your way home from the bar, don’t forget to urinate on your local chapter of MADD.

And don’t drive home, tembel.