Kosher Eucharist / יוקאריסט כשר

As my esteemed compatriot Xanthippe noted in his preceding compendium of anticipated debauchery, we moved a while ago. After several years’ worth of living in often conflict-ridden metropolises, it was decided that we should pool our collective resources and find a nice quiet place to live in the country, a place where we could nurse our misanthropy, a place where nobody would bat an eyelid at downing an eye-opener upon arising in the mid-afternoon. And that’s how we found ourselves in the town we’ve dubbed Givat Chofesh, a Texas hamlet where the grass is brown, the skies blue, the breakfast tacos abundant, and the ratio of gas stations to registered sex offenders two-to-one. Demographic realities in our minuscule burg have allowed us to assume with confidence the mantles of Town Jew and Town Fairy, and between the thrill of once again being novelties and always getting 10% off at the liquor store because the owner’s taken a shine to us, we’re as happy as bivalves.

And since I know our surprisingly faithful readership loves to get a peek at the sordid, gin-soaked affair that is our lives, I’ve compiled a series of snapshots detailing existence as we know it in Givat Chofesh. Read on:

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